Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!

Wow, today is the last day of 2010!

Tomorrow, I'm going to begin the Course's Workbook for the second time using the commentary by Ken Wapnick called Journey through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles.

I've always wanted to do the Workbook again with Ken, and 2011 seems like the perfect year to do it! I was thrilled to unwrap Ken's 8 book set on Christmas Eve. I've read all the preliminaries, and I'm ready to roll in the morning.

Since today is the last day of the year, some students are finishing the Workbook and treating themselves to the Epilogue. I happened to read it online last night, twice. I had forgotten how beautiful it is, and I thought today would be the perfect day to post it here. Enjoy!


This Course is a beginning, not an end. Your Friend goes with you. You are not alone. No one who calls on Him can call in vain. Whatever troubles you, be certain that He has the answer, and will gladly give it to you, if you simply turn to Him and ask it of Him. He will not withhold all answers that you need for anything that seems to trouble you. He knows the way to solve all problems, and resolve all doubts. His certainty is yours. You need but ask it of Him, and it will be given you.

You are as certain of arriving home as is the pathway of the sun laid down before it rises, after it has set, and in the half-lit hours in between. Indeed, your pathway is more certain still. For it can not be possible to change the course of those whom God has called to Him. Therefore obey your will, and follow Him Whom you accepted as your voice, to speak of what you really want and really need. His is the Voice for God and also yours. And thus He speaks of freedom and of truth.

No more specific lessons are assigned, for there is no more need of them. Henceforth, hear but the Voice for God and for your Self when you retire from the world, to seek reality instead. He will direct your efforts, telling you exactly what to do, how to direct your mind, and when to come to Him in silence, asking for His sure direction and His certain Word. His is the Word that God has given you. His is the Word you chose to be your own.

And now I place you in His hands, to be His faithful follower, with Him as Guide through every difficulty and all pain that you may think is real. Nor will He give you pleasures that will pass away, for He gives only the eternal and the good. Let Him prepare you further. He has earned your trust by speaking daily to you of your Father and your brother and your Self. He will continue. Now you walk with Him, as certain as is He of where you go; as sure as He of how you should proceed; as confident as He is of the goal, and of your safe arrival in the end.

The end is certain, and the means as well. To this we say "Amen." You will be told exactly what God wills for you each time there is a choice to make. And He will speak for God and for your Self, thus making sure that hell will claim you not, and that each choice you make brings Heaven nearer to your reach. And so we walk with Him from this time on, and turn to Him for guidance and for peace and sure direction. Joy attends our way. For we go homeward to an open door which God has held unclosed to welcome us.

We trust our ways to Him and say "Amen." In peace we will continue in His way, and trust all things to Him. In confidence we wait His answers, as we ask His Will in everything we do. He loves God's son as we would love him. And He teaches us how to behold him through His eyes, and love him as He does. You do not walk alone. God's angels hover near and all about. His Love surrounds you, and of this be sure; that I will never leave you comfortless.

Friday, December 17, 2010

What We Want...What We Really, Really, Want!

It's that time of year again! The kids have made their lists, and checked them way more than twice, and in fact, are still in the process of adding on and on and on!

I certainly think that I want a whole bunch of stuff which I've simplified by narrowing it down to just a winning lottery ticket, preferably a really big one!

It seems that our whole lives are spent in a state of want. Since studying the Course, it occurs to me that I don't really know what I want. One of my favorite Workbook Lessons is number 24, "I do not perceive my own best interests."

This hasn't really stopped me from thinking that I want stuff, but it has helped me to think differently about this entire subject.

I think that maybe all the stuff we want, be it tangible or intangible, for ourselves or for others, is really symbolic of wanting our Father in Heaven. Maybe it really is our Home in Heaven that we miss.

As always, Jesus says it best, "For still deeper than the ego's foundation, and much stronger than it will ever be, is your intense and burning love of God, and His for you." T-13:III:2:8.

Amen and Thank God!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

So Beautiful!

I just picked up my Course know the one that was published by the Foundation for Inner Peace, which for the record, is the only one that I care to read on account of it is the only one that Jesus and Helen and Bill along with Ken and Bob and Judy published for me to read.

Anyway, I got the urge to pick it up just a moment ago, and I happened to read the Epilogue and me oh my! It is such a beautiful thing, and so, I'm passing it along right now!


1. Forget not once this journey is begun the end is certain. Doubt along the way will come and go and go to come again. Yet is the ending sure. No one can fail to do what God appointed him to do. When you forget, remember that you walk with Him and with His Word upon your heart. Who could despair when hope like this is his? Illusions of despair may seem to come, but learn how not to be deceived by them. Behind each one there is reality and there is God. Why would you wait for this and trade it for illusions, when His Love is but an instant farther on the road where all illusion end? The end is sure and guaranteed by God. Who stands before a lifeless image when a step away the Holy of the Holies opens up an ancient door that leads beyond the world?

2. You are a stranger here. But you belong to Him Who loves you as He loves Himself. Ask but my help to roll the stone away, and it is done according to His Will. We have begun the journey. Long ago the end was written in the stars and set into the Heavens with a shining Ray that held it safe within eternity and through all time as well. And holds it still; unchanged, unchanging and unchangeable.

3. Be not afraid. We only start again an ancient journey long ago begun that but seems new. We have begun again upon a road we travelled on before and lost our way a little while. And now we try again. Our new beginning has the certainty the journey lacked till now. Look up and see His Word among the stars, where He has set your Name along with His. Look up and find your certain destiny the world would hide but God would have you see.

4. Let us wait here in silence, and kneel down an instant in our gratitude to Him Who called to us and helped us hear His Call. And then let us arise and go in faith along the way to Him. Now we are sure we do not walk alone. For God is here, and with Him all our brothers. Now we know that we will never lose the way again. The song begins again which had been stopped only an instant though it seems to be unsung forever. What is here begun will grow in life and strength and hope, until the world is still an instant and forgets all that the dream of sin had made of it.

5. Let us go out and meet the newborn world, knowing that Christ has been reborn in it, and that the holiness of this rebirth will last forever. We had lost our way but He has found it for us. Let us go and bid Him welcome Who returns to us to celebrate salvation and the end of all we thought we made. The morning star of this new day looks on a different world where God is welcomed and His Son with Him. We who complete Him offer thanks to Him, as He gives thanks to us. The Son is still, and in the quiet God has given him enters his home and is at peace at last.

Monday, September 20, 2010

One Time

I remember this one time when I was a teenager growing up on an Indian Reservation in Salamanca, New York. I was shopping at the local mall which at the time consisted of maybe two stores and a snack counter.

Anyway, one of the stores was called McCrory's which was a popular five and dime chain. Inside were bins and bins full of different odds and ends. I came across this bin full of giant butterflies. They looked like the Monarchs I see flying around the back yard all summer, but they were fake of course and huge like the size of a basketball.

I walked up to that bin and thought, "What are these for?"

I picked one up and saw that underneath it had a metal ring on it, and so, I slipped it on my finger. The idea of wearing this huge thing as an actual ring for your finger was so ridiculous that it cracked me right up. I laughed my freakin' head off.

My laughter became uncontrollable. I couldn't seem to stop no matter how hard I tried, and I hadn't even been drinking or anything. I started to get embarrassed and ended up having to leave the store because there was just no stopping this laughter. Tears were streaming down my face. I think I was truly hysterical.

When I think about that day now, I am reminded of J's counsel for us to learn to ask the question, "What is it for?" in conjunction with everything. I am also reminded of that section in the Course called The Hero of the Dream where J says, "No one believes there really was a time when he knew nothing of a body, and could never have conceived this world as real. He would have seen at once that these ideas are one illusion, too ridiculous for anything but to be laughed away."


Wednesday, September 1, 2010


I was just chatting with my little brother, Brian. He told me he thinks I'm the craziest person he's ever even heard of. I was shocked. I said, "Crazier than that guy who took the Discovery Channel employees hostage today?" And he said, "Yes."

So then I tried to prove to him that I'm really not crazy by pointing out how very open minded I am and how stable and how my behavior is so normal and consistent. Then he had to go do something, and so he asked me to call him back in five minutes to which I said I needed and hour.

So, I forgave it and realized it doesn't really matter what he thinks of me. It just matters what I think of him. I called him back in an hour and the subject didn't even come up again, and that was that.

Although, I'm thinking he was probably right. I mean if I wasn't crazy I wouldn't think I was here in the first place, right?

All I can say is thank God for true forgiveness which apparently leads away from crazy rather than towards it. Good God, I hope I'm doing it right.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Sugar and Spice...

And every thing nice, NOT! Yeah, we all know that facing what is in the unconscious mind is not always a walk in the park. Although, sometimes it is, and there you have the one time to be thankful for duality. I'm just kidding ya!

The good news is that we don't have to face the unconscious alone. In fact, we are never alone. According to J, the Holy Spirit responds fully to our slightest invitation. Experience tells me this is totally accurate.

One of my egos favorite games is to be victimized by the Holy Spirit Himself! I love to do the where were you when I needed you routine, and I love to ask Him questions in this new modern day code like WTF?

Without fail, I find out that He was doing His job all along, and I was refusing to see and accept it. This always leads me to some sort of heartfelt apology. Taking responsibility for...well...everything isn't always easy, but it's like just one split second and then the realization dawns that He was in charge the whole time!

Like Arten and Pursah say, Put the one in charge who knows everything! Amen to that.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Ten Buckets of Vomit Part Two

I don't even feel like ten buckets of vomit anymore! And the best part is knowing that I felt like ten buckets of vomit because I wanted to feel like ten buckets of vomit.

It's totally wild to realize I am doing this to myself. And that is very good news! Now, I can choose again and again and again! Feeling like heck is actually good motivation to get back to the business of forgiveness!

The system works, let me tell you. I give the Holy Spirit ten buckets of metaphorical vomit and He gives me a miracle! He's pretty gosh darn consistent, too I've found, because no matter what I give Him as long as I include some willingness, He exchanges it for a miracle.

This is definitely the best deal I've ever even heard of! Yeah, I'm going to keep this up no matter what. Forgiveness is my one responsibility and it's simple and at least just for today, it's really easy!

Oh, and tomorrow, I'm going to write a brand new post with a much less sickening title. I promise, probably!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Ten Buckets of Vomit

I know that is a disgusting title and I apologize if anyone reading this just ate or drank or has the flu, but that's how I ten buckets of vomit.

I don't know what happened. I was feeling so peaceful thinking boy this forgiveness really works. I even had visions of sugar plums dancing through my mind, and then shlazam, it's like I tripped and fell all the way to hell.

Where's the easy button?

I have lots and lots of things that I am trying to blame for this sudden decent into the depths of darkness, yet the secret of salvation is but this that I am doing this unto myself.


Well then...straight from the Course's mouth (paraphrasing):

I must have decided wrongly because I am not at peace.
Since I made the decision I can decide otherwise.
I do not feel guilty because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.
I choose to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Movie Review Part Two

Well, my mother came over and spent the night recently, so I got out the A Course in Miracles The Movie and watched it again with her. Now, I feel compelled to say that I liked it even better the second time!

I think maybe I was expecting a hundred million dollar block buster, and so my initial opinion was not as enthusiastic as it could have been.

I do believe the content of the message was right on. They didn't say, "There is no world yeah but maybe..." They said, "There is no world!" As we all know that is the central thought the Course attempts to teach.

The movie is a wonderful reminder of what the Course is all about. I had a distinct sense of joining with all who participated even Puppetji who really lightened things up.

I also became familiar with students of the Course whom I had never heard of before like Early Purdy who laughed his head off and Lyn Corona who obviously gets it!

I plan to look up this Tom Carpenter and Linda Carpenter. They seemed very wise indeed. When I think about the 6 billion brothers appearing on this planet, it is nary a handful who know that A Course in Miracles even exists let alone who actually study and practice it.

To me, this makes each of them very interesting indeed!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Movie Review

I got my A Course in Miracles The Movie about 10 days after I ordered it. I've been scared to review it here because I have to say that I didn't agree with all of it. Right off the bat, they said that Ken Wapnick was the editor of ACIM. Well, after 18 and 1/2 times of reading Your Immortal Reality, I'm quite clear that Ken Wapnick was NEVER an editor of the Course. In fact, here's that section from page 145:

PURSAH: First, before I begin correcting the misinformation, let's get one thing straight: From the very beginning of the scribing of A Course in Miracles in 1965, all the way through to the publication of the Course in 1976, there was only one editor of the Course, and that was Helen Schucman. Bill Thetford was never an editor of the Course. Ken Wapnick was never an editor of the Course.

MAD COURSE STUDENT: In that same section, Pursah certainly does discuss Ken's work assisting Helen, and also thanks to Arten and Pursah, we know that Jesus identified Ken as the one who would be responsible for teaching people what the Course means. They also said he would come to be known as the Course's greatest teacher and that people would still be reading his stuff way, way on down the line!

It's no wonder that my favorite part of the movie involved Ken. At the very end, they put a couple of out takes in of him that really cracked me up. At one point he was saying something like, "Can I go now? Can I go now?" and then he said, "Can I have a brownie?" He's a doll! I hope to get to learn from him in person at some point along this illusory time line.

Overall, I give the movie two thumbs up because there were so many brothers and sisters sharing their thoughts on the Course. I could see with my very own eyeballs just how much it means to people. I feel profoundly grateful to be learning and studying it, too!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It's August 11th...

It's August 11, 2010, and I only have one blog this month so far. Well, if I click on "publish post" at some point while typing this, that'll be two blogs. My deal with myself was to write a little something every single day. What the heck is wrong with me?

Sometimes, okay most of the time, I can't think of a darn thing to say. Or if I do think of something to say I forget it by the time I get near the keyboard.

One possibly interesting thing is that 4 years ago today I read Your Immortal Reality by Gary Renard for the very first time! I read it cover to cover all in one sitting. I had pre-ordered it from, and then it kept not showing up, so I got in the car and drove to Barnes and Noble and bought it.

When I first got my hands on it, I was a little disappointed because it was obviously thinner than The Disappearance of the Universe. I wanted another big, fat book, darn it! Hey, a forgiveness opportunity, before I even opened it, how cool!

So, I tried to read it while driving down the highway, but that wasn't going to work out so well, so I waited until I actually pulled in the driveway.

I didn't stay disappointed for long. Yeah, it was a little shorter, but it was just as sweet. Gary and his Teachers know what the heck is going on around here and exactly what to do about it.

I need all the reminders I can get, so I'm now in the middle of it again, actually for the 19th time! Holy Spirit!

People hear that, and they think I must be crazy. And they're right, but not for long. Thank God!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Level Confusion...Gone!

One of my very best girlfriends who I'll call Christ since that's who she really is anyway sent me a couple of emails that I found to be not only helpful but truly profound. One line just jumped right out at me. I'll let you guess which one. She gave me permission to share them here:

I had a bout of true hysteria yesterday and gave up on ACIM. Went ballistic on like 18 strangers. I kept calling for Holy Spirit but couldn't find Him. Then I had a dream about being above it all and I could see how silly and insane it is and how this is hell. Then I got up this morning and read my next lesson, but not the text of it... just the lesson. "God is the Love I forgive in." We'll see... Love you, Christ

and then:

Well I'm in the hospital. I didn't really give up on ACIM... Just got pissed off at a lot of people over all this health shit, threw a hissy fit and finally got what I wanted which was to stop being put off... Sometimes I think...maybe it's better to send an ego to do an ego's job. Such craziness...And although I felt better forgiving it all... I had to be a bitch to get anything to happen.

Only here 23 hours I think...but maybe longer if they do surgery. I don't care what they do...just do something! I was so sick of having waves of numbness wash over me while I just waited for an appointment days away...everytime I went numb, I would think "am I ready?" And I'd think, "no not yet"... and then I turned into super bitch, drama queen, hissy fitter supreme!

Since then I've been able to be in heaven, watching my dream, and seeing others in their dream...It really is a much nicer place to be... Love you, Christ

Okay, did you guess which line jumped right off the page? It was this one, "Maybe it's better to send an ego to do an ego's job." Wowie, wow, wow! God knows (not really) I could have used that little piece of wisdom about 10 million times since starting this process. Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do!

She's always been the smartest cookie in the bag! I love her dearly now and from the first moment she spoke to me!

I'm thinking of her the way she really is which is not a body but Christ, pure and innocent, all is forgiven and released. Amen.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dawns On You

Isn't it funny how you can hear an idea over and over and over and think about it over and over and over and then suddenly it's like it finally dawns on you! I love it when that happens. Today the idea that I really don't have to take anything seriously including my own guilt (is there any other kind?) just dawned on me.

What a relief, I tell you! I've been feeling so guilty about not blogging all that much, and as soon as I stopped taking the guilt seriously, what do ya know, a new blog.

The truth is all guilt is completely made up. It doesn't exist in Reality at all... none, zero, zip, zilch. No exceptions! Same goes for this whole world. Same goes for everything that is not perfect Love.

Sure we experience it as real, but it's a false experience. Jesus, Himself, swears this is the truth. So all the trauma, and drama, and sin, fear, guilt and death was really just the result of taking one tiny mad idea seriously...way too seriously.

And so today I'm not going to. I'm not going to take it seriously! Whew and thank God!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Bumper Cars

So, I'm driving down the road with the baby in his car seat, and this little red car comes right up on my bumper. I mean if his front end were a mouth and my back end were a butt, he'd a been kissing my ass! I couldn't believe a car could get that close and not actually be touching me.

I thought to myself, "What is he thinking? Everyone knows you can't join with the body. Only minds can join!"

I'm just kidding, I didn't really think that. It's all just normal people around these parts, so I doubt that anyone thinks about only minds being able to join. Although, what do I know?

The truth is I didn't really think anything. I just put on my turn signal, pulled off the road, and let him go by. Then I thought, "You are Christ, pure and innocent, we are forgiven now."

It's funny how things that may have been upsetting in the past aren't upsetting anymore. It's also funny how some teensy, little thing that doesn't matter one lickin' stick can send me right over the edge!

Hey, I guess they're all teensy, little things that don't matter one lickin' stick. I just don't always remember that right away!

Oh well, better late than never!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Here is a conversation that I overheard between between George who is 10 years old and Albert who is 2. It made me smile.

GEORGE: Are you special? Do you have special powers?

Albert: No

George: Can you fly?

Albert: No, I don't have wings.

George: Can you shoot fire out of your nose?

Albert: No

George: Why?

Albert: Cuz.

Oh the entertainment they provide! (And the forgiveness opportunities!)

Here's a couple of related sayings from Pursah's Gospel of Thomas from Gary Renard's book, Your Immortal Reality.

4. J said, "The person old in days should not hesitate to ask a little child the meaning of life, and that person will live. For many of the first will be last, and they will become a single one."

79. A woman in the crowd said to him, "Lucky are the womb that bore you and the breasts that fed you." He said to her, "Lucky are those who have heard the word of the Father and have truly kept it. For there will be days when you will say, "Lucky are the womb that has not conceived and the breasts that have not given milk."

MAD COURSE STUDENT: I'm glad He said it!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

God Made Flesh

If God could be made flesh which He can't, but if He could, the female version would look like my friend who I'll call Christ since that's who she really is anyway. I mean it's just not even normal how good looking this chick is. She's like some sort of goddess or princess or something. I've never seen anything quite like her. And she's just as lovely on the inside as she is on the outside!

She and I hadn't seen each other in years and years. She had moved thousands of miles away, and we had lost touch for awhile. Then last summer she came and stayed with me for a couple of weeks.

I was totally unprepared for how gosh darned much she had blossomed. I thought I was way beyond bodies and envy and stuff 'cause I'm a Course student and so it's like elementary that bodies are not even real and who cares? Right?

Wrong! I fell apart! And how could I not because we would walk into the grocery store and the whole place would just stop shopping or working or whatever they were doing and then they would just stare at her wide eyed and open mouthed. Men, women, children, babies, the elderly, you name it, the entire establishment halts! I've never seen anything like it!

My husband who I have been separated from for quite some time changed practically instantaneously from an extremely angry and disgruntled person into the nicest guy on the illusory planet! All of the sudden he was hanging out, folding the laundry, doing dishes, and acting like he's just always had the disposition of Mother Theresa!

Well, I forgave it all the best I could. I was honest with everyone about how I was feeling, and I only cried like two oceans and three lakes. My friend was very sweet about it, and she agreed to wear a burlap sack anytime my husband was coming to see the kids. Although, that really didn't help much!

Well now, a year has passed, and my friend may be coming to stay! I don't know how I'm going to survive living with this beautiful goddess! I mean who wants to be the ugly duckling? This is a very serious threat to my specialness. I'm going to forgive the best I can, and then I don't know, maybe exercise? Good Lord, I'm going to need a lot of help with this one!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Forgiving at the Drive Thru

I should say forgiving after the drive thru, right? Because I'm always miles down the road before I realize that my meatless taco has meat in it, and the kids crispy strips aren't crispy strips at all, they're drumsticks.

Aah geez, we're one step closer now, I think. Each time the choice is made to forgive truly is one step away from error rather than towards it. That's a relief.

I notice the kids are unusually flexible when it comes to this sort of thing. They were most upset on my behalf, so I assured them that the truth is, I could probably stand to miss a meal here and there anyway! And it's not like I would actually have to miss one because our cupboards couldn't get any fuller. And the girl at the drive through was just so kind, how can we really blame her?

That's just the way the script was written, and I wrote the darned thing. Yup, I made a deal with my ego to get the meat filled taco so I could blame the drive thru for my lack of peace and keep the seeming separation going and going and going...

But I have a new deal now with the Holy Spirit. I agree to forgive my sister at the drive thru for what she hasn't really done, and He agrees to remove the unconscious guilt from my mind.

Hey, now that's a deal that can't be beat! And everyone wins!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Movie

Hey, brothers and sisters! Do you remember this part from The Disappearance of the Universe?

ARTEN: You've had an eventful few weeks. Did you read it?

GARY: You mean the Course?


GARY: No. I'm waiting for the movie.

ARTEN: God help us all...

It's from page 91. And believe it or not, A Course in Miracles The Movie, has just been released and is available at I ordered my copy today.

It's funny because today was the third time I had heard about it, and if I hear about something three times, I usually try to pay attention. I haven't watched it yet, obviously, because shipping is quick but not that quick. As soon as I do get it and watch it, I'll write a review right here.

At least three of my favorite Course teachers and authors are in it including Gary Renard, Dr. Kenneth Wapnick, and Linda Jean McNabb. With a line up like that, it's got to be good!

Who'd a thunk it, A Course in Miracles The Movie? Wild!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Music Heaven

I think I didn't die and went straight to music Heaven! Okay, there's no music Heaven that I know of, but my dear friend, GiddyupMikey, jokes that music is the one thing that the ego got right! Wait a minute, he may not be joking!

I got a new ipod a couple of weeks ago, and just tonight, my teenage son put some of my favorite songs on it. And even as I write this, I'm totally rocking out. Music can be so transcendent! I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't love music. I can't actually dance, sing, or play a musical instrument, but that hasn't stopped me from listening!

Seeing as it is Saturday night, and Jesus does use the word "song" 58 times in A Course in Miracles, I thought I'd share my new little ipod playlist. I even got to choose the order!

California Gurls by, Katy Perry(feat. Snoop Dogg)
Party for Two by, Shania Twain & Billy Currington
The Show by, Lenka
Hot in Herre by, Nelly
You Sexy Thing by, Hot Chocolate
Mercy by, Duffy
Crazy by, Gnarls Barkley
Collide by, Howie Day
Why Can't I? by, Liz Phair
You Are the Woman by, Firefall
No One by, Alicia Keys
One Thing by, Finger Eleven
Hurt by, Christina Aguilera

There's one song that I wanted right now, darn it, but I couldn't seem to get it. It's my little brother Johnny's song. It's called, " I Don't Wanna Be" by a guy named Gavin Degraw! It rocks, and I swear it was written just for him. It's 11:59PM, at least on my clock, so in one minute, he would have turned 30 years old. Ooh, it's now! Happy Birthday, John! I love you!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Little Found Girl

I was chatting on the phone with my mother on Tuesday while she was watching the news. She said there was an Amber Alert issued for a four year old little girl. She had been playing in her front yard with her brother when a man came along and snatched her.

I started asking questions, "Where? When? What kind of vehicle?" My mother didn't know. The newscaster wasn't giving that information.

So, I got very annoyed, and I started saying how ridiculous it is that this information wasn't readily available. And with technology being what it is, surely they could, within minutes, get all known information out on the radio and television for say a fifty mile radius so that we could, ahh, save her. And, what the hell was wrong with everyone?

Then, I remembered that the very LAST thing I would want to do is project my unconscious guilt onto this situation.

So, I stopped, and I joined with J, and I forgave everyone involved, not for what they were or were not doing because that would only make the error real. Instead, I remembered that this is MY dream and everyone is perfectly innocent because I'm the one who is seeing what is not true! I trusted J and chose His strength!

Then the next day, I had the news on, and I heard them say the little girl had been found safe and sound and had already been reunited with her family. Her hair had been cut short, but she had not been abused in any way! I cried for the sheer joy of it!

I certainly don't always know exactly what effect true forgiveness is having behind the scenes at any seeming point in time. The Course says in Miracle Principle number 39:

The miracle dissolves error because the Holy Spirit identifies error as false or unreal. This is the same as saying that by perceiving light, darkness automatically disappears.

And in Miracle Principle 45:

A miracles is never lost. It may touch many people you have not even met, and produce undreamed of changes in situations of which you are not even aware.

And heck, one quote from The Disappearance of the Universe, page 192:

ARTEN: Forgiveness is the only thing that can really change the world, and that isn't even the purpose of forgiveness.

MAD COURSE STUDENT: The man they suspect did the snatching, shot himself when police showed up to question him. He died today. I believe that man made a mistake, and then he chose to listen to the Holy Spirit instead of the ego. I thank him for making that choice. I'm going to keep choosing the Holy Spirit right along with him. Thank God.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Interpreting, Part II

I have one little bit more information to share about all of this interpretation business.

It's from one of my all time favorite books, The Disappearance of the Universe. There's nothing quite like a quote from that book to make everything perfectly clear. This first gem is from page 91:

ARTEN: If J meant for his Course to be subject to your interpretation rather than his instruction, then why give it in the first place? Why not just let you make up your own version of everything, which is exactly what you've been doing throughout your seemingly separate existence? The truth is that if you really understand A Course in Miracles, which is rare, then there is only one possible interpretation. If you change it, which is typical, then it is no longer A Course in Miracles.

And this second one comes from page 100:

ARTEN: Let me ask you something else. If today you have 20,000 churches that don't really understand J's message -- and I assure you they don't -- and if you have them all disagreeing about what J's message is supposed to mean, and in the meantime the world hasn't changed -- not really -- then do you honestly believe it will serve humanity if you end up with twenty thousand different interpretations of A Course in Miracles?

MAD COURSE STUDENT: Probably not! What I get out of all of this is the sense that, by listening, I'm being saved a whole lot of trial, error and time! And for that, I thank God!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


I've been thinking a lot about interpreting A Course in Miracles. If left to my own devices I would interpret the Course as... well... NOT for me!

I got my first copy of the Course somewhere between 10 and 15 years ago. At that point, I was left to my own devices, and so, I ended up tossing the book in the trash can! What a knucklehead I was!

But I didn't know what any of it meant. It seemed kind of Christian which was not my favorite thing on account of the whole sacrifice the life of the one perfect guy to make up for all the rest of us hooligans thing.

I mean who does that? Having three boys myself, it wouldn't even occur to me to take the most well behaved one out into the backyard and kill him to make up for the bratty-ness of the other two.

And if I did do that, it would be weird if millions of people then worshipped me! Yeah, I didn't figure I really wanted to go to Heaven with a God like that.

I feel very thankful to have good teachers in form to help with accepting the fact that there really is only one interpretation of A Course in Miracles. And apparently my job isn't interpreting anyway, it's learning and then applying and applying and applying...

That Jesus sure does know everything! I'm going to keep all this true forgiveness business up, so I can remember that I know everything, too!

Sleepless in Sherman

I was going to blog earlier, much earlier, but I was just too tired. Yet, sleep, apparently isn't what I'm supposed to be doing now.

It's alright because, heck, remember my old favorite characteristic of a teacher of God? Well, it's patience. Here's that section again. It never gets old, I tell you!

VIII. Patience

Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. Patience is natural to the teacher of God. All he sees is certain outcome, at a time perhaps unknown to him as yet, but not in doubt. The time will be as right as is the answer. And this is true for everything that happens now or in the future. The past as well held no mistakes; nothing that did not serve to benefit the world as well as him to whom it seemed to happen. Perhaps it was not understood at the time. Even so, the teacher of God is willing to reconsider all his past decisions, if they are causing pain to anyone. Patience is natural to those who trust. Sure of the ultimate interpretation of all things in time, no outcome already seen or yet to come can cause them fear.

Amen and good night!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

It's Independence Day!

It really is Independence Day. So, it's the perfect day to say, "Boy, after reading DU, the term "independence day" really takes on a whole new meaning! Here's the quote to explain why from page 188."

PURSAH: Yes. The ego's chaotic nature also ensures that there will never be a unified theory of the universe that will hold up over time, because the universe isn't really based on the thought of unity -- it's based on the thought of separation and division. However, it includes fascinating and ingenious patterns that help to give it the illusion of unity. That's why you shouldn't be impressed by every new discovery or theory about the universe. So what if superstrings can make gravity work at both the Newtonian and sub-atomic levels? An illusion is still an illusion. We're not saying you shouldn't do research or analysis, if that's what you do. Go for it. Just try to remember that you're doing it during a pre-programmed dream script.

GARY: Not to mention the fact that you're a freakin' robot.

PURSAH: Only temporarily. You're not a robot once you get in touch with your power to choose. It's independence day, Gary. You'll never be the same once you know how to forgive.

ARTEN: The process Pursah has been describing gives you one example of how the universe follows a script that was made in a holographic way but appears to play out in a linear manner, like a movie that's already been filmed. The whole thing has alrady been written, and so has your life story. Even the day your body will die has already been determined. The only real freedom you have is to choose to return to God by listening to the Voice for Him, instead of continuing indefinitely within a fixed system that has nothing to do with Him. Your brain isn't hard wired to know God; your mind tells your brain what to do! Be glad the universe and your brain have nothing to do with God, and that there's a way to return to His Universe. You think your universe is impressive because it's all you can remember. You think it's big, but it's not. What you've done is make yourself look and feel small, like one little piece of the puzzle. You're like a child with little toys you don't want to give up. Yet what you really are cannot even be contained by your universe.

MAD COURSE STUDENT: Wowie, wow, wow and wow! Happy Independence Day, Everyone!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Jesus and My Television

I learned in my Abnormal Psychology class that if you think God talks to you through your television set then you don't just have problems, you have big problems! Luckily, I don't think that. That's crazy!

God doesn't talk to me through my TV set...just Jesus does!

What? It's not like he gives me the combination to my bank's vault or anything like that. He just gives me little messages about being best friends and stuff.

I know this doesn't make me special because He's best friends with anyone who wants to be best friends with Him.

The Course does say that Jesus meets us where we are at. So, it's no wonder He meets me at the television, right? I'm there often enough.

Truth be told, these types of occurrences are where I came up with the name "mad Course student" to begin with!

Usually, I just can't tell for certain whether I'm the normal kind of mad or extra mad...but with this true forgiveness going on all the time, I realize it just doesn't matter!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Super Glue

I have this favorite pair of sandals that look like they're about 2000 years old. The sole had started to separate from...well, the rest of the sole. I wasn't about to take it seriously, but this situation has been tripping me up quite a bit when I'm walking.

The kids voted on a brand new pair, so I did look for some. I think they must have stopped making them a long, long time ago just like they stopped making my favorite shorts which I have on right now from the 10th grade(they're stretchy!), and my favorite chapstick, my favorite lipstick, my favorite mascara, and mug-o-lunch.

Had I known, they were going to stop making all my favorite stuff, perhaps I would have bought a whole lot more of it while it was still available. Hey, I guess that's kind of like had I known that taking the "tiny mad idea" of separation seriously was going to lead to hell, perhaps I would have laughed a whole lot more!

Gotta love the land of perpetual change, NOT!

Anyway, I bought some super glue and what do ya know, my sandals are completely whole again. Hmmm, if only forgiving the world were that easy...

Monday, June 28, 2010

My New Favorite

I have an announcement! My new favorite quote is...

"It is impossible to overestimate your brother's value."
ACIM T-20:V:3:1

I find this one succinct statement really says it all! My brothers are not the bodies my eyeballs seem to see. They are really Christ! How simple and beautiful is the truth?

I've read this quote in the text of the Course a number of times, but it never really jumped off the page at me until I read it in my good friend, Giddyupmikey's, book which isn't available yet but will be later this year! I'll have more official announcements right here at this blog as the time draws nearer. Stay tuned!

I let Mikey know how much I enjoyed reading it in his book, and he said he had been reading the Course one day and it jumped right out at him! I'm so glad it did!

I hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Too Good To Be True

You know, back in the olden days, I used to think that either there was a God or there wasn't. And if there was, well then, He would have to be perfect. Finally, a God that really is perfect! Now that is something to get excited about!

The God I've heard about from Jesus in A Course in Miracles is like too good to be true yet completely TRUE! How cool is that?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Oil Spill

I was reading online today about how different Course students are viewing the latest oil spill. Sometimes I get confused about what the right thoughts are to think, what the best actions are to take, and what the heck is really going on around here?

I've come to the conclusion that I really just don't know! So, I practice true forgiveness to the best of my ability which means paying attention to my own wrong mind and asking Jesus for help.

Next thing I know, I'm in my kitchen mixing up a chocolate cake. I recently scored one of those old fashioned mixers that does all the mixing for you. You just throw your ingredients in the bowl and the mixer does the rest. Look ma, no hands!

It was my mother who gave it to me. It had been in her family for years. My older brother had asked for it first and then realized he already had one. So, I lucked out or so I thought.

Then, just now, while I was mixing up that cake, the darn thing vibrated right off the kitchen counter and smashed into a million pieces when it hit the floor. I saw it start to go. I had just walked over to the garbage can. I turned and ran as fast as I could, but I was too late! Bye, bye mixer and hello chocolate cake batter all over everywhere.

I stood there for a minute stunned silent. The kids all came running to see what the awful crash was. It wasn't oil, although, I had put 1/2 cup of oil in there, and no ocean life appeared to be harmed during the spill, but the irony of the situation was not lost on me.

I realized the answer is always the same. I do my job of true forgiveness, and then I do my cover job which is called clean up the mess!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Momentarily Missing

Okay, so it was a beautiful Monday afternoon. The sun was shining. The birds were singing, and I was out in the backyard playing a friendly game of bad-mitten with my teenager who was happily done with school for the year. The baby was there with us too, playing in his sandbox.

We headed in, and I noticed the clock on the stove said 3:28. Uh oh, I thought, Georgie, my 10 year old should have gotten off the bus at 3:15. My teenager ran out back to check if he had been walking out one way while we walked in the other. I called the school. It rang like 15 times and finally the secretary picked up. I let her know who I was and that George didn't come home from school. She asked if he went to a friend's house. "No, definitely not!" I said. She called the bus driver en route. She said George was NOT on the bus. Then the phone went dead!

Panic set in. I shook as I made a mad dash for the cell phone and tried to call her back. My fingers wouldn't work. I had to dial twice. I finally got her back on the line, and she said the bus driver had called back. Georgie WAS on the bus...she had accidentally overlooked him. I was flooded with relief, I tell you!

So, I waited by the front door for that bus to pull up. Georgie came bounding down the driveway. I started to tell him what our experience here had been, but then the tears came, and I couldn't even talk. He said, "Ah mom, it's alright. See, I'm fine."

He was glad though...I could tell. When you're the pickle in the middle child, sometimes you feel like no one notices. So, when you see your mother fall into a puddle on account of worry for you, it feels really good. He beamed all night long!

Having a missing child has got to be one of the worst nightmares that can appear to happen in this crazy place! I momentarily forgot about J and His Course in the midst of that day's events. Yet, if this dream has every possible scenario of separation scripted out, and if doing this true forgiveness undoes all of that, well then, my choice is clear.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It Was a Little-Teensy Hand

Yes, it was a little, teensy two-year-old hand, to be exact, that was holding the handle on that milk jug as milk poured out all over my practically brand new living room carpet. It was no accident. In fact, in his little mind, it served me right because I was on the phone.

I could kinda tell he didn't want me to talk on the phone by the blood curdling scream he let out when the phone rang and I answered it. This meant I had to begin and end my conversation in another room with the door closed.

There were older brothers here and there, but their heads were stuck in computer screens. The sound of milk dumping onto the floor apparently wasn't enough to shake them out of their computer comas.

Well, I certainly felt the infamous "slight twinge of annoyance" that J talks about in His Course. At the same time, I figured someone had better forgive this mess. After all, there's no difference between forgiving some illusory image that pops up in front of my face right now and forgiving the original instant that I took the "tiny mad idea" of separation seriously.

So, I did my job and forgave truly, and I did my cover job which was cleaning up the mess, and I did my other cover job which was putting that baby to bed early! Funny, after he was in bed, that phone never rang again!

It figures, I mean it's forgiven.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I'd Be Fired...

if this were a "real" job, and the goal involved actually writing something each day! It's a good thing J only hires and never fires, huh? Least that's what I heard.

It's been a crazy few days or a crazy billion years, all depending on how you look at it. And if you're feeling particularly right minded, well then, it really hasn't! I think our brother Jesus puts it like this (paraphrasing)... Not one note in Heaven's song was missed.

Anyway, I think I might actually have some good fake stuff to write about this week if I ever get around to it!

There's been no shortage of forgiveness opportunities around my neck of the dream! I've got stories about a gallon of milk dumped straight out on my living room carpet and not by accident...okay, it was only half a gallon, but still, and stories about my momentarily missing 10 year old son during which time I completely forgot about Jesus and this Course! I know a moment doesn't sound like a long time, but it sure can seem like an eternity!

Anyway, I appreciate all my brothers and sisters who gather here to read and write (and all my brothers and sisters who don't). I'll be back tomorrow, reading and writing, probably!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Right Hopping

This true forgiveness gig keeps me right hopping, I tell you. If it's not one thing, it's the cat. I finally fell asleep last night after much tossing and turning, and darned if the cat doesn't open my bedroom door, quite dramatically I might add, and wake me up!

She does this almost every night, and when she does I always think from now on I'm going to toss her outside BEFORE I go to bed. But then, when I'm on my way to bed, I see her sleeping so peacefully in her spot on the back of the couch. And I think, "Oh, she's sleeping so sweetly. I don't want to bother her."

Talk about anger that isn't justified! Well, I've forgiven her for what she hasn't really done which means I've forgiven myself for what I haven't really done which, in this case, is tossing her outside sooner rather than later!

I think I've finally gotten everything that is seemingly cat related all forgiven, and tonight, no matter how comfortable she looks on the back of that couch, out she goes!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Patting Your Head While Rubbing Your Tummy

Remember that old game? Sitting around, say in kindergarten, and somebody asks, "Hey, can you pat your head while rubbing your tummy?"

Before long, the entire room is trying to pat their head while rubbing their tummy. What the heck does that have to do with A Course in Miracles you ask?

Well, it occurs to me that this exercise requires that we think about it. We're not wired up to automatically pat our heads while rubbing our tummies! It causes us to stop and think!

The same thing goes for A Course in Miracles. The thought system of the Holy Spirit does not necessarily come naturally, at least not at first. If it did then we wouldn't need A Course in Miracles.

In the beginning, it certainly requires that we think about it. The more we think about it and apply it to our daily lives, the more natural and automatic it becomes. I'm still in the beginning, apparently, because I still need to think about it, and think about it, and think about it...

And I'm still thinking about it!

Monday, June 14, 2010

A Book I Could Not Put Down

I've had a book sitting on my kitchen counter for the last couple of months. It's called, ONE AGAIN, A TRUE STORY OF A DIFFERENT KIND OF FORGIVENESS by Linda Jean McNabb.

I had just let that book sit there like a beautiful cake you don't actually want to cut into. Finally, yesterday, I did cut into it, and before I knew it, I had devoured the whole entire thing! I tell you, I was completely captivated by this story. Once I started reading, I could not put it down! I confess I started out reading the reviews that are printed in the front of the book. I wondered if people really meant what they had said or were they just saying it to be nice?

NEWSFLASH! They meant it! What a wonderful gift that this woman would allow us to share her journey with her. Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall? Well, that's what I felt like as I read her courageous story. I felt like I had gotten some kind of unique permission to be a fly on the wall in a lot of very interesting rooms. Linda doesn't hold anything back, and I find that I have so much in common with her probably the least of which includes being born and raised in and around the Erie, PA area.

I am thrilled to have gotten to know her so intimately through her sharing in this book. I would buy ANY and EVERY book she ever writes.

Thank you for sharing Linda Jean McNabb! I thank God for you!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I Sure Do Love That Lady!

I sure do love that lady, my mom! I spent the day with her today, and I'm just so glad I did! I want to share a poem she wrote many years ago. It's just one of many in a book she published called My Way Was the Hard Way:(You Can Take the Easy Way) by P.G. Clark. Thank you, mom. I thank God for you!

The poem is called, The Answer. She wrote it long before she became a student of A Course in Miracles. Enjoy!

Today I make a solemn vow
To others I will give
I honor all with a bow
I'll show you how to live
God grace me with your wisdom
To remember from where I came
Help me to be humble
And live only in your name
I shall only use my name
As a pseudonym
For any good that comes from me
Came only straight from Him
So Lord I ask sincerely
Use me now and ever more
My choice to love you clearly
Is to open wide the door
That door's been shut for way too long
Through ignorance and fear
I beg you please sing me your song
And hold me by you near
Let me do you work on earth
Let me spread the word
Give to me the message
The one we haven't heard
That love's the answer to our plight
No bombs or guns will win the fight
Love's the only way to go
Just listen now He told me so
That's the message simple and true
It comes from God to me to you
Heed the word don't turn away
For that's what's brought us
To this day.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Dear John,

Hey little brother! Thanks for letting me know you were here yesterday. You couldn't have picked a more perfect time to reach across the veil in our mind and touch me.

As you know, the day started out with me feeling like a rabid beast. God knows (okay, He doesn't really know)I was actually growling like a beast when I went to put on my favorite shirt of yours that I knew I had just folded straight out of the dryer the day before, and it was nowhere to be found.

I growled right out loud as I went stomping into the kids rooms wondering if Georgie had delivered it to the wrong room. I had just come out of the first room and was ready to head into the second, and Albert was there holding the shirt out for me. He said, "Here's your shirt, mama." And I couldn't believe my eyes! He's 2, for Heaven's sake! And it was just me and Him. The other kids were at school.

"How could that be?" I wondered.

It didn't take long, and I had forgotten all about it. I was busy, after all, being a rabid beast.

So later, Ron came to see the kids, and I asked him to help me take a look at the fridge as a mysterious puddle had formed on the carpet a couple of weeks ago, and it just wouldn't dry! We found a tray in there that needed dumping, cool.

Then later, while rocking Albs to sleep I got out my netflix movie called Dear John. I knew I wanted to see it ever since I saw it advertised at the movie theater. I knew I wanted to see it because I have notebooks full of letters to you brother, and they all start with Dear John. After your motorcycle crashed head long into that pickup truck, I just started writing to you, and you have never failed to answer me.

Well, right off the bat the "John" in that movie said, "He was minted in 1980." That was the year you were born. I started to cry. Then there was the broken fridge scene and I cried some more. Then I took a smoke break and looked over at some old receipt sitting on the side table next to the ashtray. It had some numbers written on it. I must have been calculating something at some point...the bottom line said 1980, and I cried some more.

So then, I went back into the house, and checked my email before restarting the movie. Someone at one of my yahoo groups had posted this excerpt from a book, It went like this "Before I knowed it, I was sayin' out loud, 'The hell with it! There ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue. There's just stuff people do. It's all part of the same thing'...I says, 'What's this call, this Sperit?' An'I says, 'It's love. I love people so much I'm fit to bust sometimes.'...I figgered, 'Why do we got to hang it on God or Jesus? Maybe, 'I figgered, 'maybe it's all men an' all women we love; maybe that's the Holy Sperit-the human sperit-the whole shebang. Maybe all men got one big soul ever'body's a part of.' Now I sat there thinkin' it, an' all of a sudden-I knew it. I knew it so deep down that it was true, and I still know it."

The book was called, The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck. And so I cried some more because I knew it too. I just knew it, and there was your name.

Then the movie ended and the last four words that were spoken were, "I'll see you soon."

And I cried some more, and then, I went to bed, and I remembered about the shirt and the baby, and I just thanked God for my brother who is one with me!

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Junk in My Trunk

A Course in Miracles is very much about the healing of the unconscious guilt in the mind. I've recently begun referring to said guilt as the junk in my trunk!

As more illusory time seems to pass between my learning about this pile of junk and my application of true forgiveness, I notice these beautiful instances when there just is NO junk in my trunk or anyone else's trunk for that matter. There's nothing scary about this realization. In fact, it is the exact opposite of scary. It's the most peaceful and beautiful experience I've ever had. I wouldn't mind being that way all the time.

Don't get me wrong, there are other times when there seems to be so much junk in my trunk that I wonder if I'm doing my part of the junk removal process correctly. Interestingly, these are often the same times when I'm noticing the junk in my brother's trunk.

My willingness to notice that the junk in my brother's trunk is the same darn junk that is in my own trunk is what helps me to experience that all the junk is just imagined, made up, unreal! Of course, the Holy Spirit does His thing which evidently is all the heavy junk lifting.

Sooner or later, we all get down to the last piece of imagined junk in that imagined trunk, and then LOVE will be all that's left!

Thank God for his beautiful teachers who aren't afraid to speak up about the junk in my trunk. If I refuse to look at the junk, how will I ever know I am free of it?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Forgiving Butts Continued...

Alright, as promised, let's chat about forgiving butts. I was riding down the street in Jamestown, New York with my three boys. I'm a rider rather than a driver now because my oldest is sweet 16 and fully armed with a permit.

Anyway, we drove past these two guys on bicycles, and they had their regular shorts pulled down just below their butt cheeks. They had boxer shorts on too, so we didn't actually see any bare butts, but I had the thought, "Pull your pants up!"

Then I caught myself making these brothers wrong for wearing their shorts down too low. What's that but a judgment? So, I forgave my brothers, and thus myself, for what we hadn't really done.

Then the next day I got up and got dressed, and later I notice that the shorts I am wearing are actually men's boxer shorts! Ha, that'll learn me!

That part of the mind J calls the ego just wants to keep on projecting, and apparently, any old target will do!

I guess that's why He calls it mind training!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Forgiving Butts

I was going to chat about a weird forgiveness opportunity that came up yesterday while riding in the car with my three sons. BUT instead, I think I'll chat about the three ways of undoing the ego as taught by my favorite famous author and Course teacher, Gary Renard.

(I'll save the discussion about "forgiving butts" for tomorrow...stayed tuned!)

These three strategies for undoing the ego are in no particular order, and they all come from Gary's podcasts which can be found by clicking on the link for his website which is located in the upper right hand corner of this screen.

The first way takes about 10 seconds. What you do is put the Holy Spirit in charge of your thoughts, decisions, and your whole entire day. I personally do this within a few minutes of waking each day. I simply think this thought, "J, you be in charge of my thoughts, my decisions, and my whole entire day. I would step back and let you lead the way." That last line is from the Course's Workbook. I believe it's from Lesson 155. I also think a similar thought before going to bed. I think, "J, you be in charge of my thoughts, my dreams, and my whole entire night." Hey, I like to be covered whether I appear to be awake or sleeping.

As a teensy sidenote, I also like to remember to thank the Holy Spirit for His Help at the end of each day!

The second way is to use the form of true prayer that is taught in The Disappearance of the Universe in chapter 13 entitled, True Prayer and Abundance. This is an active decision that says, "God, You are all I want. I'm thankful that You created me to be exactly the same as You. I thank You for keeping me perfectly safe and completely taken care of. I would have no other Gods before You, no Love but Yours." Then you become silent and just get lost in God's Love! It is simple and beautiful! Gary recommends we do this five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night. He's one smart cookie!

The third way is to practice true forgiveness which means monitoring your thoughts and feelings and forgiving anything that seems to disturb your peace of mind. With this kind of forgiveness, you are choosing to take responsibility for dreaming. Now, it's your dream, and so, you're forgiving your brothers and sisters for what they HAVEN'T really done. You're basically saying, "Wait a minute, neither one of us really exists separately from God. So, the guilt that I thought was in you is really just imagined guilt that is in my own mind. Now, I can forgive "both" of us for what we haven't really done, and I trust the Holy Spirit and choose His strength." Of course, there can be different variations on the forgiveness thought process. As long as all the elements are there, we can think whatever right-minded thoughts we prefer.

Consistently doing these three things can't help but lead us to the Peace of God! Also, it couldn't hurt to study the Course book a bit, do the Workbook, and maybe read Gary's book(s) a few dozen times if that's what turns you on. It sure turns me on! The reason it does is because I see in it my whole way way out of misery, my way out of suffering, my way out of hell, it's time to go HOME!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Loss for Words

Well, I'm at a loss for words today. It's my third day back blogging, and I just don't have anything interesting to report.

My shower drain has been all clogged up for a couple of weeks. I hate it when that happens! So today, after I forgave it, I poured a bottle of Liquid Plumber down there, and wa-la, all fixed.

What does that have to do with A Course in Miracles? Not a freaking thing as far as I know, but if my reader has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them!

Funny, I said, "my reader." I do have one, and she's a gosh darn good one favorite, in fact!

What else...I only did half of my five minute meditation this morning. The HS is in charge, but I didn't get to the getting lost in God's Love part. Maybe that's the problem? Um, well geez, God bless us all!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Wavey Cross

A few years ago I had a vision of a wavey cross. The cross was made of bright white light, and at the time, it seemed symbolic of a light entering the darkness.

Then yesterday, I felt like I was having a tough time truly forgiving some things that had recently popped up. There was, you know, the usual temptation to regard myself and others as bodies, and there was some anger in my mind. If you read my blog yesterday, it was obvious that I was in need of a miracle.

Then last night, I finally stopped procrastinating on watching my latest flick from netflix. The movie was called Dragonfly starring Kevin Costner (total babe!).

Anyway, darned if that movie wasn't chalked full of wavey crosses! By the time it was over, my unjustified anger (is there any other kind?) was gone. I got in bed just dripping with gratitude. I kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you, over and over.

Thanks God, thanks ten million!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

What Blogs May Come

Remember that movie with Robin Williams, What Dreams May Come? I watched that in my pre-ACIM days. It might be fun to watch it again knowing what I know now. Alright, it's not like I really know anything for sure yet, but I do know how to forgive. Apparently, once you know how to do that, you're on your way.

I've been having a rough time of it lately. Those guilty guys just don't deserve it. Alright, it's really me who doesn't deserve it. Ever feel that way? Ever feel like you just don't deserve anything good?

If left to my own devices to assess this situation, I would say I'm failing miserably. Luckily, I've haven't been left completely to my own devices, and however faint the glimmer of the Holy Spirit may be in my mind, He's there offering His help at all times. Thank God because I sure could use a miracle right now to straighten me out and set me back on Course!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Remember When...

I told you that I was rereading A Course in Miracles. Well when I got to Chapter 5, Healing and Wholeness, I was inspired as all get out! My new favorite prayer comes right after the third paragraph of the Introduction in Chapter 5. It says:

Let me know this brother as I know myself

If I can remember this whenever I'm in the presence of a brother or sister or even when I'm just thinking of them, then I'll be doing alright. The three paragraphs that precede my new favorite prayer are certainly worth quoting here. Enjoy!

To heal is to make happy. I have told you to think how many opportunities you have had to gladden yourself, and how many you have refused. This is the same as telling you that you have refused to heal yourself. The light that belongs to you is the light of joy. Radiance is not associated with sorrow. Joy calls forth an integrated willingness to share it, and promotes the mind's natural impulse to respond as one. Those who attempt to heal without being wholly joyous themselves call forth different kinds of responses at the same time, and thus deprive others of the joy of responding wholeheartedly.

To be wholehearted you must be happy. If fear and love cannot coexist, and if it is impossible to be wholly fearful and remain alive, the only possible whole state is that of love. There is no difference between love and joy. Therefore, the only possible whole state is the wholly joyous. To heal or to make joyous is therefore the same as to integrate and to make one. That is why it makes no difference to what part or by what part of the Sonship the healing is offered. Every part benefits, and benefits equally.

You are being blessed by every beneficent thought of any of your brothers anywhere. You should want to bless them in return, out of gratitude. You need not know them individually, or they you. The light is so strong that it radiates throughout the Sonship and returns thanks to the Father for radiating His joy upon it. Only God's holy children are worthy channels of His beautiful joy, because only they are beautiful enough to hold it by sharing it. It is impossible for a child of God to love his neighbor except as himself. That is why the healer's prayer is:

Let me know this brother as I know myself

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I Love Carrie Triffet

It's true. I love Carrie Triffet. She's the author of a book called Long Time No See, Diaries of an Unlikely Messenger.

Reading her book was like hanging out with my best friend whom I haven't seen in awhile. Oddly (or maybe not so oddly), I started on the page where she talks about The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard, and I read straight on through to the end. Then I went back to the very beginning and I did not skip anything, and I read straight on through and past where she talks about The Disappearance of the Universe until I had to stop because someone else came along who is now also enjoying Carrie Triffet as much as I do!

Right after all that happened, I found out Carrie Triffet was going to interview Gary Renard! Who'd a thunk it? Anyway, the interview will soon be made available for those who are interested at Carrie Triffet's website which can be found by googling her. I believe it'll be posted under the "Events" section. I can't wait!

I want to thank my very sweet and private friend who is really Christ(I wonder how long you're gonna be able to keep that private?)for telling me about Carrie Triffet in the first place!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

An Alligator and a Python

It's ironic, but I watch a nature show on PBS on Sunday nights at 8:00pm. I remember 25 years ago, I had a stepfather who was 40 years my senior, and he insisted on taking me and my friend on a nature walk at Allegany State Park. You can bet there was a lot of eye rolling and praying to please make it stop going on all day! Now I'm thinking, let me face this, the fact is that there are only two kinds of people that actually watch PBS; babies and old people. Will I ever grow up?

Anyway, this week I watched an alligator eat a python and then I watched a python eat an alligator and then I watched some guy cut open a python and find a whole graveyard full of alligator claws, and bird beaks, and what not inside. This was definitely a different experience from watching the wolves the week before. They were beautiful and graceful. I was mesmerized by their social rituals and their strong family ties. The reptiles not so much. Infact, it was so disgusting, it was hard to watch.

Then I remembered that it really was just one thought that had made all images appear. It was my decision to take the "tiny mad idea" of separation seriously that had caused me to lose my mind. And practicing true forgiveness will help me find it. Thank God!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Someone to Turn To...

That's one of my favorite things about A Course in Miracles, it has given me someone to turn to for everything! I tend to take that quite literally, and I've gotten into the habit of turning to J or the Holy Spirit as some prefer to refer to Him for everything from a cold right on through to the death of a loved one. Pursah points out in The Disappearance of the Universe that it's just as important to forgive a cold as it is to forgive the death of a loved one. So, that's where I got that from!

Anyway, we find right in the preface, in the section called, "How It Came," Dr. Schucman writes, "The names of the collaborators in the recording of the Course do not appear on the cover because the Course can and should stand on its own. It is not intended to become the basis for another cult. Its only purpose is to provide a way in which some people will be able to find their own Internal Teacher."

I am one of those people. I have found my own Internal Teacher which doesn't mean I always listen or even hear, but that's what that little willingness is for, I think. I can't find the line I wanted to use from the Course where J encourages us to take His hand and He says, "I assure you this will be no idle fantasy."

I don't hesitate to find any promises J might make in the blue book, and I put Him right on the spot. He always makes good, though. That's the thing, He really is in there somewhere doing His job perfectly. I've found that having Him as my go to Guy has been the biggest relief of my life even though He's not really a Guy. When He says, on page 56, "In this world you need not have tribulation because I have overcome the world. That is why you should be of good cheer," I do relax then, and be of good cheer, usually. Thank God!

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Alright, I wanted to talk about themes a little bit. I don't really know anything about them or what they mean...nothing in the big picture I'm bettin', but since it's Saturday night, and I still think I'm in the picture, I figured I'd do some wondering.

Hey, that's probably what I said just before the you know what(separation)...that didn't really happen(THANK GOD)...but sure seems to have(ugh!)...

Anyway, it seems like there are themes in the sense that certain areas in life go incredibly smoothly for some of us and incredibly crappy for others of us. For example, I seem to have pretty good luck when it comes to anything legal. I can get pulled over for speeding, running a red light, no inspection, no registration, and can't find my license all at the same time and get a warning. My mother, on the other hand, could be sitting in her own home, and someone could come in and physically assault her, and she would have to pay a fine.

Sometimes you get both sides of the same illusory theme. For example, haircuts. It seems we're all darned destined for a bad one of those at least once. I've already had mine, thank you.

It's mind boggling to think of all the zillions of ways this illusory business seems to be scripted out. Arten and Pursah talk about how it's possible to live the same lifetime over again with a different result. They even use my favorite quote from Shakespeare about how, "There are more things in Heaven and earth, Horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy." They assure us that we all have the same number of so called good lives as bad lives. We've all been famous, and we've all been the dregs of the earth.

Ultimately, all three of them, J and A & P, heck all four of them, J and A & P and Gary, seem to say that nothing can compare to remembering who we and our brothers and sisters really are, and this true forgiveness can't help but lead to that. Thank God!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Drag Me To Hell

Okay, I've been dying to use this blog title! The thought of this title on an ACIM blog just sort of tickled my funny bone. It's actually the name of a movie the kids talked me into watching with them the other night. We watched the PG-13 version, and I tell you we laughed our heads off.

It was the first time a horror movie didn't horrify me. Usually, I have to look away at the scary parts...this time I watched every second, we all did, and we really laughed so hard.

In fact, all of it reminded me of page 586 in the text. J says, "He would have seen at once that these ideas are one illusion, too ridiculous for anything but to be laughed away!" And later on page 587, "He bids you bring each terrible effect to Him that you may look together on its foolish cause and laugh with him a while. You judge effects, but He has judged their cause. And by His judgment are effects removed. Perhaps you come in tears. But hear Him say, 'My brother, holy Son of God, behold your idle dream, in which this could occur.' And you will leave the holy instant with your laughter and your brother's joined with His."

Okay, one more line, He goes on to say, "The secret of Salvation is but this: that you are doing this unto yourself."

So, I dragged myself to hell, metaphorically speaking of course! And now, I'm leaving!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Looked at Death and it Disappeared!

It happened while I was in bed sleeping early the other morning. I was having one of those highly vivid, seemingly symbolic dreams that felt completely real just like the waking dream usually does. You know the kind, where when you wake up, you remember every detail because you just lived it! Or so it seemed...

Anyway, I wanted to take the kids to Seaworld in Canada. I was driving in the car with the kids, and I saw a street sign. It said Niagara Falls Blvd. I pulled over, and the kids and I jumped out of the car and ran into this bridal salon to ask for directions. I asked the people who worked there, but they ignored me. I also asked the customers, and they ignored me too.

I found myself going into malls and bowling alleys asking everyone if they knew how to get to Seaworld in Canada. They either ignored me or said a bunch of stuff I couldn't follow. I saw a guy with blue hair and a yellow shirt who was saying he was from Vancouver, and I asked him and he said, "No."

Finally, I decided to get in the car by myself and see if I could find it. I could bring the kids back later when I knew how to get there. I found myself on a stretch of highway that briefly looked familiar, like the stretch right by my house. I quickly realized it wasn't by my house, but I remembered being on this highway many times before and always getting lost. I thought, I hate this stupid place, and I veered to the right to round a curve, but I cut the wheel too soon, and drove right off a cliff that was hundreds or thousands of feet high. I wholeheartedly believed it was not survivable.

My first thought was I can't believe I just did that! Then, I joined with J in my mind. Then, I thought of my kids and their dad and in my mind I said I'm so sorry and I love you to them. Then I thought about how shocked and dismayed my mother would be. Then I wondered if it would hurt when I landed. Then I wondered why I hadn't landed yet. Then, I opened my eyes to take a peak and saw that I was in my bed! And then, I was thrilled! Thrilled, I tell you!

Paraphrasing from the Course and The Disappearance of the Universe, There is no death. The Son of God is free!

If plummeting thousands of feet off a cliff in a 95 Buick Century ain't no cause for alarm, then maybe there just ain't no cause for alarm, after all?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Did President Obama... The Disappearance of the Universe or what? Holy Shmola, I love this guy! Everything he said during the State of the Union Address this evening could have come right out of either one of Gary's books.

I keep hearing about how his approval rating is low, and it seems every time I turn on the TV someone is criticizing him and I think, "Have you lost your freaking mind?" And then I think, "Oh, yeah, you have, we all have or we wouldn't think we were here in the first place." Good to know!

Anyway, I'm dreaming I'm a democrat. It's wild how that old separation idea appears to play itself out with the republicans and the democrats. While President Obama was speaking, they kept showing this little group of guys who refused to clap. I caught myself wondering if any democrats have ever done that to a republican President and thinking probably not.

So, instead of attacking myself, I did what any Course student would do, I joined with J and forgave instead!

And that's what it's all about!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mysterious Aches and Pains

So, I've been experiencing these mysterious aches and pains. One day the skin on the back of my right thigh just started hurting. Yesterday, my right elbow started hurting, and last night it was chest pains and a headache.

I tried to comprehend that pain is a mental process rather than a physical one. This pain thing seems so freaking real when you're experiencing it. Although, none of the aches and pains described above, are anything compared to say labor and childbirth which is in my experience, pain beyond comprehension!

The Course is very clear that the guiltless mind can't suffer. I do still think I'm a guilty body. My whole life I've felt like something terrible had happened, and it was all my fault. There's obviously work to be done, but I have to say that I'm not one bit opposed to seeking relief on this level while I practice forgiveness with Jesus in my mind.

It seems I've built up quite a case against myself, and I want to let Him throw it out!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

So, Just a Few Days Ago...

I started rereading the text of the Course again. I'm not far, but as I read through the Principles of Miracles, number 45 really jumped out at me. It says, "A miracle is never lost. It may touch many people you have not even met, and produce undreamed of changes in situations of which you are not even aware."

So, I started kind of thinking about that one as I continued to read, and then I get to page 10 and J says, "That the miracle may have effects on your brothers that you may not recognize is not your concern."

Sheesh! I wasn't concerned. I was just thinking!

It's funny how highly personal our experiences with Jesus and His Course can be while we learn that we're not even people!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Okay, have you figured out that when I don't actually have anything dazzling to say, I post a quote? Well, here's another one. This time, I just opened the text and found page 236, Chapter 13, THE GUILTLESS WORLD; INTRODUCTION:

If you did not feel guilty you could not attack, for condemnation is the root of attack. It is the judgment of one mind by another as unworthy of love and deserving of punishment. But herein lies the split. For the mind that judges perceives itself as separate from the mind being judged, believing that by punishing another, it will escape punishment. All this is but the delusional attempt of the mind to deny itself, and escape the penalty of denial. It is guilt that has obscured the Father to you, and it is guilt that has driven you insane.

The acceptance of guilt into the mind of God's Son was the beginning of the separation, as the acceptance of the Atonement is its end. The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt. Look carefully at this world, and you will realize that this is so. For this world is the symbol of punishment, and all the laws that seem to govern it are the laws of death. Children are born into it through pain and in pain. Their growth is attended by suffering, and they learn of sorrow and separation and death. Their minds seem to be trapped in their brain, and its powers to decline if their bodies are hurt. They seem to love, yet they desert and are deserted. They appear to lose what they love, perhaps the most insane belief of all. And their bodies wither and gasp and are laid in the ground, and are no more. Not one of them but has thought that God is cruel.

If this were the real world, God would be cruel. For no Father could subject His children to this as the price of salvation and be loving. Love does not kill to save. If it did, attack would be salvation, and this is the ego's interpretation, not God's. Only the world of guilt could demand this, for only the guilty could conceive of it. Adam's "sin" could have touched no one, had he not believed it was the Father Who drove him out of Paradise. For in that belief the knowledge of the Father was lost, since only those who do not understand Him could believe it.

This world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son. And until you realize that God's Son cannot be crucified, this is the world you will see. Yet you will not realize this until you accept the eternal fact the God's Son is not guilty. He deserves only love because he has given only love. He cannot be condemned because he has never condemned. The Atonement is the final lesson he need learn, for it teaches him that, never having sinned, he has no need of salvation.


Monday, January 11, 2010

From the Manual for Teachers...

Well, I wanted to post a quote from the section in the Manual called, WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF GOD'S TEACHERS? My current favorite is:

VIII. Patience:

Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. Patience is natural to the teacher of God. All he sees is certain outcome, at a time perhaps unknown to him as yet, but not in doubt. The time will be as right as is the answer. And this is true for everything that happens now or in the future. The past as well held no mistakes; nothing that did not serve to benefit the world, as well as him to whom it seemed to happen. Perhaps it was not understood at the time. Even so, the teacher of God is willing to reconsider all his past decisions, if they are causing pain to anyone. Patience is natural to those who trust. Sure of the ultimate interpretation of all things in time, no outcome already seen or yet to come can cause them fear.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Mikey's DU Quote of the Day...

Mike Lemieux, aka, giddyupmikey, is a fellow repeat reader of Gary Renard's books, and he's also a student of A Course in Miracles. He does a lot of cool stuff with all this cool stuff, and you can check him out by clicking on his link on the top, right of this page!

Anyway, his quote for today came from Your Immortal Reality on page 53. This is Arten speaking:

True forgiveness means you don't judge and condemn another. There's not really any sin and guilt out there, because none of this is happening except in a dream and dreams are not real. So J counsels you in His Course not to make the ideas of sin and guilt real in the people, events, and situations you see in the world. When you seem to see some twisted form of the original error rising to frighten you, say only, 'God is not fear, but Love,' and it will disappear.

I love this quote. It couldn't be any clearer! Thanks, Mike, for posting these! I'll take all the reminders that I can get!

God Is

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I'm Just Saying...

I have someone in my life who provides me with many, many forgiveness opportunities. Yay!

For awhile, up to and including yesterday, I had been feeling a lot of resistance to this person. I've done every forgiveness thought process I've ever heard about 2,347,982 times. And then suddenly, lastnight, there was a "poof" and then no more resistance. Then the stuff I heard coming out of my mouth was like the perfect stuff to be saying to this person, and it was happening with no thought from me.

Then later, I thought, I must be doing a really good job with this forgiveness, and then I thought what if I'm feeling temporarily good on account of I managed to project some of my unconscious guilt onto this person, and then I thought, nah!

I'm doing it, and it works. I'm just saying...

Monday, January 4, 2010

It's a Done Deal!

That's a cool idea. It means that everyone, without exception, is going to wake up and realize they were really safe at home in heaven the whole time! What a permanent revelation that'll be!

Eventually, true forgiveness leads to the knowing that the separation from God never occurred which is the atonement. It's all so simple, yet knowing all that doesn't mean I know all that. That's the thing.

It seems to take a while to remove the blocks to the awareness of love's presence. Apparently, if I woke up too quickly it wouldn't be pleasant. That is beyond my comprehension...

Now that I think of it, most all of this is beyond my comprehension, but I don't let it slow me down any. I have a feeling that the kindest thing I could ever do for anyone is learn and apply A Course in Miracles, and so, I will.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's a Blizzard Out There!

So, we were supposed to get like 3 to 6 inches of snow today, but so far we've gotten like 3 to 6 feet! It's almost like a freak of nature out there. Man, oh man, I know what it's for though. Everything is for the same thing...

I'm working on it. Hey, how about a group weather forgiveness thought process?

It couldn't hurt!

I'll borrow from Pursah in the Disappearance of the Universe: You're not really there. If I think you're guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then the imagined guilt(cold) and fear(snow) must be in me. Since the separation from God never occurred, I forgive "both" of us for what we haven't really done. Now, there is only innocence and I join with the Holy Spirit in warmth, I mean peace.

And now I'm happy to report that in my mind, it's summer, probably.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

Here's a little Course quote to start the new year off! It's from the section called, Christmas as the End of Sacrifice:

This is the time in which a new year will soon be born from the time of Christ. I have perfect faith in you to do all that you would accomplish. Nothing will be lacking, and you will make complete and not destroy. Say, then, to your brother:

I give you to the Holy Spirit as part of myself.
I know that you will be released, unless I want to use you to imprison myself.
In the name of freedom I choose your release, because I recognize that we will be released together.

So will the year begin in joy and freedom. There is much to do, and we have been long delayed. Accept the holy instant as this year is born, and take your place, so long left unfulfilled, in the Great Awakening. Make this year different by making it all the same. And let all your relationships be made holy for you. This is our will. Amen.