Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Dear John,

Hey little brother! Thanks for letting me know you were here yesterday. You couldn't have picked a more perfect time to reach across the veil in our mind and touch me.

As you know, the day started out with me feeling like a rabid beast. God knows (okay, He doesn't really know)I was actually growling like a beast when I went to put on my favorite shirt of yours that I knew I had just folded straight out of the dryer the day before, and it was nowhere to be found.

I growled right out loud as I went stomping into the kids rooms wondering if Georgie had delivered it to the wrong room. I had just come out of the first room and was ready to head into the second, and Albert was there holding the shirt out for me. He said, "Here's your shirt, mama." And I couldn't believe my eyes! He's 2, for Heaven's sake! And it was just me and Him. The other kids were at school.

"How could that be?" I wondered.

It didn't take long, and I had forgotten all about it. I was busy, after all, being a rabid beast.

So later, Ron came to see the kids, and I asked him to help me take a look at the fridge as a mysterious puddle had formed on the carpet a couple of weeks ago, and it just wouldn't dry! We found a tray in there that needed dumping, cool.

Then later, while rocking Albs to sleep I got out my netflix movie called Dear John. I knew I wanted to see it ever since I saw it advertised at the movie theater. I knew I wanted to see it because I have notebooks full of letters to you brother, and they all start with Dear John. After your motorcycle crashed head long into that pickup truck, I just started writing to you, and you have never failed to answer me.

Well, right off the bat the "John" in that movie said, "He was minted in 1980." That was the year you were born. I started to cry. Then there was the broken fridge scene and I cried some more. Then I took a smoke break and looked over at some old receipt sitting on the side table next to the ashtray. It had some numbers written on it. I must have been calculating something at some point...the bottom line said 1980, and I cried some more.

So then, I went back into the house, and checked my email before restarting the movie. Someone at one of my yahoo groups had posted this excerpt from a book, It went like this "Before I knowed it, I was sayin' out loud, 'The hell with it! There ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue. There's just stuff people do. It's all part of the same thing'...I says, 'What's this call, this Sperit?' An'I says, 'It's love. I love people so much I'm fit to bust sometimes.'...I figgered, 'Why do we got to hang it on God or Jesus? Maybe, 'I figgered, 'maybe it's all men an' all women we love; maybe that's the Holy Sperit-the human sperit-the whole shebang. Maybe all men got one big soul ever'body's a part of.' Now I sat there thinkin' it, an' all of a sudden-I knew it. I knew it so deep down that it was true, and I still know it."

The book was called, The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck. And so I cried some more because I knew it too. I just knew it, and there was your name.

Then the movie ended and the last four words that were spoken were, "I'll see you soon."

And I cried some more, and then, I went to bed, and I remembered about the shirt and the baby, and I just thanked God for my brother who is one with me!


  1. Wow! and How's the Rabid Beast Today? Seems like it had a lot to say yesterday in the form of Dear John. We're all connected... and there is the proof! "We are" sort of became "I AM".. and there is no death as defined by Webster.. and GOD IS! LOVE IT!

  2. The rabid beast has been successfully denied and projected, just kidding! The rabid beast has been completely forgiven, at least for now. That guy has a tendency to come and go, but I'm ready and willing, abundantly willing, I think!

  3. awesome blog by awesome blogger!!!