Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Jesus and My Television

I learned in my Abnormal Psychology class that if you think God talks to you through your television set then you don't just have problems, you have big problems! Luckily, I don't think that. That's crazy!

God doesn't talk to me through my TV set...just Jesus does!

What? It's not like he gives me the combination to my bank's vault or anything like that. He just gives me little messages about being best friends and stuff.

I know this doesn't make me special because He's best friends with anyone who wants to be best friends with Him.

The Course does say that Jesus meets us where we are at. So, it's no wonder He meets me at the television, right? I'm there often enough.

Truth be told, these types of occurrences are where I came up with the name "mad Course student" to begin with!

Usually, I just can't tell for certain whether I'm the normal kind of mad or extra mad...but with this true forgiveness going on all the time, I realize it just doesn't matter!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Super Glue

I have this favorite pair of sandals that look like they're about 2000 years old. The sole had started to separate from...well, the rest of the sole. I wasn't about to take it seriously, but this situation has been tripping me up quite a bit when I'm walking.

The kids voted on a brand new pair, so I did look for some. I think they must have stopped making them a long, long time ago just like they stopped making my favorite shorts which I have on right now from the 10th grade(they're stretchy!), and my favorite chapstick, my favorite lipstick, my favorite mascara, and mug-o-lunch.

Had I known, they were going to stop making all my favorite stuff, perhaps I would have bought a whole lot more of it while it was still available. Hey, I guess that's kind of like had I known that taking the "tiny mad idea" of separation seriously was going to lead to hell, perhaps I would have laughed a whole lot more!

Gotta love the land of perpetual change, NOT!

Anyway, I bought some super glue and what do ya know, my sandals are completely whole again. Hmmm, if only forgiving the world were that easy...

Monday, June 28, 2010

My New Favorite

I have an announcement! My new favorite quote is...

"It is impossible to overestimate your brother's value."
ACIM T-20:V:3:1

I find this one succinct statement really says it all! My brothers are not the bodies my eyeballs seem to see. They are really Christ! How simple and beautiful is the truth?

I've read this quote in the text of the Course a number of times, but it never really jumped off the page at me until I read it in my good friend, Giddyupmikey's, book which isn't available yet but will be later this year! I'll have more official announcements right here at this blog as the time draws nearer. Stay tuned!

I let Mikey know how much I enjoyed reading it in his book, and he said he had been reading the Course one day and it jumped right out at him! I'm so glad it did!

I hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Too Good To Be True

You know, back in the olden days, I used to think that either there was a God or there wasn't. And if there was, well then, He would have to be perfect. Finally, a God that really is perfect! Now that is something to get excited about!

The God I've heard about from Jesus in A Course in Miracles is like too good to be true yet completely TRUE! How cool is that?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Oil Spill

I was reading online today about how different Course students are viewing the latest oil spill. Sometimes I get confused about what the right thoughts are to think, what the best actions are to take, and what the heck is really going on around here?

I've come to the conclusion that I really just don't know! So, I practice true forgiveness to the best of my ability which means paying attention to my own wrong mind and asking Jesus for help.

Next thing I know, I'm in my kitchen mixing up a chocolate cake. I recently scored one of those old fashioned mixers that does all the mixing for you. You just throw your ingredients in the bowl and the mixer does the rest. Look ma, no hands!

It was my mother who gave it to me. It had been in her family for years. My older brother had asked for it first and then realized he already had one. So, I lucked out or so I thought.

Then, just now, while I was mixing up that cake, the darn thing vibrated right off the kitchen counter and smashed into a million pieces when it hit the floor. I saw it start to go. I had just walked over to the garbage can. I turned and ran as fast as I could, but I was too late! Bye, bye mixer and hello chocolate cake batter all over everywhere.

I stood there for a minute stunned silent. The kids all came running to see what the awful crash was. It wasn't oil, although, I had put 1/2 cup of oil in there, and no ocean life appeared to be harmed during the spill, but the irony of the situation was not lost on me.

I realized the answer is always the same. I do my job of true forgiveness, and then I do my cover job which is called clean up the mess!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Momentarily Missing

Okay, so it was a beautiful Monday afternoon. The sun was shining. The birds were singing, and I was out in the backyard playing a friendly game of bad-mitten with my teenager who was happily done with school for the year. The baby was there with us too, playing in his sandbox.

We headed in, and I noticed the clock on the stove said 3:28. Uh oh, I thought, Georgie, my 10 year old should have gotten off the bus at 3:15. My teenager ran out back to check if he had been walking out one way while we walked in the other. I called the school. It rang like 15 times and finally the secretary picked up. I let her know who I was and that George didn't come home from school. She asked if he went to a friend's house. "No, definitely not!" I said. She called the bus driver en route. She said George was NOT on the bus. Then the phone went dead!

Panic set in. I shook as I made a mad dash for the cell phone and tried to call her back. My fingers wouldn't work. I had to dial twice. I finally got her back on the line, and she said the bus driver had called back. Georgie WAS on the bus...she had accidentally overlooked him. I was flooded with relief, I tell you!

So, I waited by the front door for that bus to pull up. Georgie came bounding down the driveway. I started to tell him what our experience here had been, but then the tears came, and I couldn't even talk. He said, "Ah mom, it's alright. See, I'm fine."

He was glad though...I could tell. When you're the pickle in the middle child, sometimes you feel like no one notices. So, when you see your mother fall into a puddle on account of worry for you, it feels really good. He beamed all night long!

Having a missing child has got to be one of the worst nightmares that can appear to happen in this crazy place! I momentarily forgot about J and His Course in the midst of that day's events. Yet, if this dream has every possible scenario of separation scripted out, and if doing this true forgiveness undoes all of that, well then, my choice is clear.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It Was a Little-Teensy Hand

Yes, it was a little, teensy two-year-old hand, to be exact, that was holding the handle on that milk jug as milk poured out all over my practically brand new living room carpet. It was no accident. In fact, in his little mind, it served me right because I was on the phone.

I could kinda tell he didn't want me to talk on the phone by the blood curdling scream he let out when the phone rang and I answered it. This meant I had to begin and end my conversation in another room with the door closed.

There were older brothers here and there, but their heads were stuck in computer screens. The sound of milk dumping onto the floor apparently wasn't enough to shake them out of their computer comas.

Well, I certainly felt the infamous "slight twinge of annoyance" that J talks about in His Course. At the same time, I figured someone had better forgive this mess. After all, there's no difference between forgiving some illusory image that pops up in front of my face right now and forgiving the original instant that I took the "tiny mad idea" of separation seriously.

So, I did my job and forgave truly, and I did my cover job which was cleaning up the mess, and I did my other cover job which was putting that baby to bed early! Funny, after he was in bed, that phone never rang again!

It figures, I mean it's forgiven.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I'd Be Fired...

if this were a "real" job, and the goal involved actually writing something each day! It's a good thing J only hires and never fires, huh? Least that's what I heard.

It's been a crazy few days or a crazy billion years, all depending on how you look at it. And if you're feeling particularly right minded, well then, it really hasn't! I think our brother Jesus puts it like this (paraphrasing)... Not one note in Heaven's song was missed.

Anyway, I think I might actually have some good fake stuff to write about this week if I ever get around to it!

There's been no shortage of forgiveness opportunities around my neck of the dream! I've got stories about a gallon of milk dumped straight out on my living room carpet and not by accident...okay, it was only half a gallon, but still, and stories about my momentarily missing 10 year old son during which time I completely forgot about Jesus and this Course! I know a moment doesn't sound like a long time, but it sure can seem like an eternity!

Anyway, I appreciate all my brothers and sisters who gather here to read and write (and all my brothers and sisters who don't). I'll be back tomorrow, reading and writing, probably!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Right Hopping

This true forgiveness gig keeps me right hopping, I tell you. If it's not one thing, it's the cat. I finally fell asleep last night after much tossing and turning, and darned if the cat doesn't open my bedroom door, quite dramatically I might add, and wake me up!

She does this almost every night, and when she does I always think from now on I'm going to toss her outside BEFORE I go to bed. But then, when I'm on my way to bed, I see her sleeping so peacefully in her spot on the back of the couch. And I think, "Oh, she's sleeping so sweetly. I don't want to bother her."

Talk about anger that isn't justified! Well, I've forgiven her for what she hasn't really done which means I've forgiven myself for what I haven't really done which, in this case, is tossing her outside sooner rather than later!

I think I've finally gotten everything that is seemingly cat related all forgiven, and tonight, no matter how comfortable she looks on the back of that couch, out she goes!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Patting Your Head While Rubbing Your Tummy

Remember that old game? Sitting around, say in kindergarten, and somebody asks, "Hey, can you pat your head while rubbing your tummy?"

Before long, the entire room is trying to pat their head while rubbing their tummy. What the heck does that have to do with A Course in Miracles you ask?

Well, it occurs to me that this exercise requires that we think about it. We're not wired up to automatically pat our heads while rubbing our tummies! It causes us to stop and think!

The same thing goes for A Course in Miracles. The thought system of the Holy Spirit does not necessarily come naturally, at least not at first. If it did then we wouldn't need A Course in Miracles.

In the beginning, it certainly requires that we think about it. The more we think about it and apply it to our daily lives, the more natural and automatic it becomes. I'm still in the beginning, apparently, because I still need to think about it, and think about it, and think about it...

And I'm still thinking about it!

Monday, June 14, 2010

A Book I Could Not Put Down

I've had a book sitting on my kitchen counter for the last couple of months. It's called, ONE AGAIN, A TRUE STORY OF A DIFFERENT KIND OF FORGIVENESS by Linda Jean McNabb.

I had just let that book sit there like a beautiful cake you don't actually want to cut into. Finally, yesterday, I did cut into it, and before I knew it, I had devoured the whole entire thing! I tell you, I was completely captivated by this story. Once I started reading, I could not put it down! I confess I started out reading the reviews that are printed in the front of the book. I wondered if people really meant what they had said or were they just saying it to be nice?

NEWSFLASH! They meant it! What a wonderful gift that this woman would allow us to share her journey with her. Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall? Well, that's what I felt like as I read her courageous story. I felt like I had gotten some kind of unique permission to be a fly on the wall in a lot of very interesting rooms. Linda doesn't hold anything back, and I find that I have so much in common with her probably the least of which includes being born and raised in and around the Erie, PA area.

I am thrilled to have gotten to know her so intimately through her sharing in this book. I would buy ANY and EVERY book she ever writes.

Thank you for sharing Linda Jean McNabb! I thank God for you!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I Sure Do Love That Lady!

I sure do love that lady, my mom! I spent the day with her today, and I'm just so glad I did! I want to share a poem she wrote many years ago. It's just one of many in a book she published called My Way Was the Hard Way:(You Can Take the Easy Way) by P.G. Clark. Thank you, mom. I thank God for you!

The poem is called, The Answer. She wrote it long before she became a student of A Course in Miracles. Enjoy!

Today I make a solemn vow
To others I will give
I honor all with a bow
I'll show you how to live
God grace me with your wisdom
To remember from where I came
Help me to be humble
And live only in your name
I shall only use my name
As a pseudonym
For any good that comes from me
Came only straight from Him
So Lord I ask sincerely
Use me now and ever more
My choice to love you clearly
Is to open wide the door
That door's been shut for way too long
Through ignorance and fear
I beg you please sing me your song
And hold me by you near
Let me do you work on earth
Let me spread the word
Give to me the message
The one we haven't heard
That love's the answer to our plight
No bombs or guns will win the fight
Love's the only way to go
Just listen now He told me so
That's the message simple and true
It comes from God to me to you
Heed the word don't turn away
For that's what's brought us
To this day.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Dear John,

Hey little brother! Thanks for letting me know you were here yesterday. You couldn't have picked a more perfect time to reach across the veil in our mind and touch me.

As you know, the day started out with me feeling like a rabid beast. God knows (okay, He doesn't really know)I was actually growling like a beast when I went to put on my favorite shirt of yours that I knew I had just folded straight out of the dryer the day before, and it was nowhere to be found.

I growled right out loud as I went stomping into the kids rooms wondering if Georgie had delivered it to the wrong room. I had just come out of the first room and was ready to head into the second, and Albert was there holding the shirt out for me. He said, "Here's your shirt, mama." And I couldn't believe my eyes! He's 2, for Heaven's sake! And it was just me and Him. The other kids were at school.

"How could that be?" I wondered.

It didn't take long, and I had forgotten all about it. I was busy, after all, being a rabid beast.

So later, Ron came to see the kids, and I asked him to help me take a look at the fridge as a mysterious puddle had formed on the carpet a couple of weeks ago, and it just wouldn't dry! We found a tray in there that needed dumping, cool.

Then later, while rocking Albs to sleep I got out my netflix movie called Dear John. I knew I wanted to see it ever since I saw it advertised at the movie theater. I knew I wanted to see it because I have notebooks full of letters to you brother, and they all start with Dear John. After your motorcycle crashed head long into that pickup truck, I just started writing to you, and you have never failed to answer me.

Well, right off the bat the "John" in that movie said, "He was minted in 1980." That was the year you were born. I started to cry. Then there was the broken fridge scene and I cried some more. Then I took a smoke break and looked over at some old receipt sitting on the side table next to the ashtray. It had some numbers written on it. I must have been calculating something at some point...the bottom line said 1980, and I cried some more.

So then, I went back into the house, and checked my email before restarting the movie. Someone at one of my yahoo groups had posted this excerpt from a book, It went like this "Before I knowed it, I was sayin' out loud, 'The hell with it! There ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue. There's just stuff people do. It's all part of the same thing'...I says, 'What's this call, this Sperit?' An'I says, 'It's love. I love people so much I'm fit to bust sometimes.'...I figgered, 'Why do we got to hang it on God or Jesus? Maybe, 'I figgered, 'maybe it's all men an' all women we love; maybe that's the Holy Sperit-the human sperit-the whole shebang. Maybe all men got one big soul ever'body's a part of.' Now I sat there thinkin' it, an' all of a sudden-I knew it. I knew it so deep down that it was true, and I still know it."

The book was called, The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck. And so I cried some more because I knew it too. I just knew it, and there was your name.

Then the movie ended and the last four words that were spoken were, "I'll see you soon."

And I cried some more, and then, I went to bed, and I remembered about the shirt and the baby, and I just thanked God for my brother who is one with me!

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Junk in My Trunk

A Course in Miracles is very much about the healing of the unconscious guilt in the mind. I've recently begun referring to said guilt as the junk in my trunk!

As more illusory time seems to pass between my learning about this pile of junk and my application of true forgiveness, I notice these beautiful instances when there just is NO junk in my trunk or anyone else's trunk for that matter. There's nothing scary about this realization. In fact, it is the exact opposite of scary. It's the most peaceful and beautiful experience I've ever had. I wouldn't mind being that way all the time.

Don't get me wrong, there are other times when there seems to be so much junk in my trunk that I wonder if I'm doing my part of the junk removal process correctly. Interestingly, these are often the same times when I'm noticing the junk in my brother's trunk.

My willingness to notice that the junk in my brother's trunk is the same darn junk that is in my own trunk is what helps me to experience that all the junk is just imagined, made up, unreal! Of course, the Holy Spirit does His thing which evidently is all the heavy junk lifting.

Sooner or later, we all get down to the last piece of imagined junk in that imagined trunk, and then LOVE will be all that's left!

Thank God for his beautiful teachers who aren't afraid to speak up about the junk in my trunk. If I refuse to look at the junk, how will I ever know I am free of it?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Forgiving Butts Continued...

Alright, as promised, let's chat about forgiving butts. I was riding down the street in Jamestown, New York with my three boys. I'm a rider rather than a driver now because my oldest is sweet 16 and fully armed with a permit.

Anyway, we drove past these two guys on bicycles, and they had their regular shorts pulled down just below their butt cheeks. They had boxer shorts on too, so we didn't actually see any bare butts, but I had the thought, "Pull your pants up!"

Then I caught myself making these brothers wrong for wearing their shorts down too low. What's that but a judgment? So, I forgave my brothers, and thus myself, for what we hadn't really done.

Then the next day I got up and got dressed, and later I notice that the shorts I am wearing are actually men's boxer shorts! Ha, that'll learn me!

That part of the mind J calls the ego just wants to keep on projecting, and apparently, any old target will do!

I guess that's why He calls it mind training!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Forgiving Butts

I was going to chat about a weird forgiveness opportunity that came up yesterday while riding in the car with my three sons. BUT instead, I think I'll chat about the three ways of undoing the ego as taught by my favorite famous author and Course teacher, Gary Renard.

(I'll save the discussion about "forgiving butts" for tomorrow...stayed tuned!)

These three strategies for undoing the ego are in no particular order, and they all come from Gary's podcasts which can be found by clicking on the link for his website which is located in the upper right hand corner of this screen.

The first way takes about 10 seconds. What you do is put the Holy Spirit in charge of your thoughts, decisions, and your whole entire day. I personally do this within a few minutes of waking each day. I simply think this thought, "J, you be in charge of my thoughts, my decisions, and my whole entire day. I would step back and let you lead the way." That last line is from the Course's Workbook. I believe it's from Lesson 155. I also think a similar thought before going to bed. I think, "J, you be in charge of my thoughts, my dreams, and my whole entire night." Hey, I like to be covered whether I appear to be awake or sleeping.

As a teensy sidenote, I also like to remember to thank the Holy Spirit for His Help at the end of each day!

The second way is to use the form of true prayer that is taught in The Disappearance of the Universe in chapter 13 entitled, True Prayer and Abundance. This is an active decision that says, "God, You are all I want. I'm thankful that You created me to be exactly the same as You. I thank You for keeping me perfectly safe and completely taken care of. I would have no other Gods before You, no Love but Yours." Then you become silent and just get lost in God's Love! It is simple and beautiful! Gary recommends we do this five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night. He's one smart cookie!

The third way is to practice true forgiveness which means monitoring your thoughts and feelings and forgiving anything that seems to disturb your peace of mind. With this kind of forgiveness, you are choosing to take responsibility for dreaming. Now, it's your dream, and so, you're forgiving your brothers and sisters for what they HAVEN'T really done. You're basically saying, "Wait a minute, neither one of us really exists separately from God. So, the guilt that I thought was in you is really just imagined guilt that is in my own mind. Now, I can forgive "both" of us for what we haven't really done, and I trust the Holy Spirit and choose His strength." Of course, there can be different variations on the forgiveness thought process. As long as all the elements are there, we can think whatever right-minded thoughts we prefer.

Consistently doing these three things can't help but lead us to the Peace of God! Also, it couldn't hurt to study the Course book a bit, do the Workbook, and maybe read Gary's book(s) a few dozen times if that's what turns you on. It sure turns me on! The reason it does is because I see in it my whole way way out of misery, my way out of suffering, my way out of hell, it's time to go HOME!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Loss for Words

Well, I'm at a loss for words today. It's my third day back blogging, and I just don't have anything interesting to report.

My shower drain has been all clogged up for a couple of weeks. I hate it when that happens! So today, after I forgave it, I poured a bottle of Liquid Plumber down there, and wa-la, all fixed.

What does that have to do with A Course in Miracles? Not a freaking thing as far as I know, but if my reader has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them!

Funny, I said, "my reader." I do have one, and she's a gosh darn good one favorite, in fact!

What else...I only did half of my five minute meditation this morning. The HS is in charge, but I didn't get to the getting lost in God's Love part. Maybe that's the problem? Um, well geez, God bless us all!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Wavey Cross

A few years ago I had a vision of a wavey cross. The cross was made of bright white light, and at the time, it seemed symbolic of a light entering the darkness.

Then yesterday, I felt like I was having a tough time truly forgiving some things that had recently popped up. There was, you know, the usual temptation to regard myself and others as bodies, and there was some anger in my mind. If you read my blog yesterday, it was obvious that I was in need of a miracle.

Then last night, I finally stopped procrastinating on watching my latest flick from netflix. The movie was called Dragonfly starring Kevin Costner (total babe!).

Anyway, darned if that movie wasn't chalked full of wavey crosses! By the time it was over, my unjustified anger (is there any other kind?) was gone. I got in bed just dripping with gratitude. I kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you, over and over.

Thanks God, thanks ten million!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

What Blogs May Come

Remember that movie with Robin Williams, What Dreams May Come? I watched that in my pre-ACIM days. It might be fun to watch it again knowing what I know now. Alright, it's not like I really know anything for sure yet, but I do know how to forgive. Apparently, once you know how to do that, you're on your way.

I've been having a rough time of it lately. Those guilty guys just don't deserve it. Alright, it's really me who doesn't deserve it. Ever feel that way? Ever feel like you just don't deserve anything good?

If left to my own devices to assess this situation, I would say I'm failing miserably. Luckily, I've haven't been left completely to my own devices, and however faint the glimmer of the Holy Spirit may be in my mind, He's there offering His help at all times. Thank God because I sure could use a miracle right now to straighten me out and set me back on Course!